What is that?: The things I now own that are still a mystery to me.

Elizabeth's tack trunk which she built with her father.

As a new horse mom you hear about all sorts of gadgets that someone assumes you have but that honestly you've never heard of and you wouldn't know what it was if it fell in your lap. So I thought I'd try to make a list of some of the things we've bought, what they are intended to do and whether or not we got very much use from them. I'll mention some things you vaguely recognize like saddles but tell you the tidbits that somewhat surprised me.

1) Saddles are sold without stirrups and girths. After you buy a saddle you need to get stirrup leathers which are the leather loops which hang from the saddle and hold the stirrup. Buy good leathers. These take the bulk of the wear and tear from daily use and need to be in good shape. You need stirrups. There are lots of options on the market. We didn't get too gimmicky. We bought basic stirrups for dressage and safety stirrups for jumping. The safety stirrups have a thick rubber band called a peacock that attaches to the outside of the stirrup with little leather end pieces. The point of safety stirrups is that the peacock will break before the rider's leg in case of emergency whereas a basic stirrup has steel on the outside.

2) Bridles come in many forms. Some are sold with reins though pretty much every time we have bought one with reins we have bought a separate set of rubber reins which my daughter prefers to ride with. Bridles do not come with bits. Your trainer will be helpful in determining which type of bridle and bit to choose. Bridles are sized by small pony, pony, cob, horse or large horse. These sizes are not always consistent from one brand to another so tack shops are very good about letting you try things on your horse and return them if they don't fit. The basic bridle is called a caveson. Dressage bridles have a flash noseband which is a second loop of leather that goes around the horse's nose below the bit. Figure 8's are often used by eventers and have a lower nose band and another one higher up than that of a caveson. The newer Micklem bridles have a more fitted strap around the jaw rather than a throat latch, a nose band below the bit and are designed to work with a horse's anatomy. Bit's come in inch sizes. The size corresponds to the measurement across the bit inside the cheek pieces. Our pony was a 4 1/2 and our horse is a 5 1/2 or 5 1/4, depending on the bit. There are literally hundreds of bits out there. You need to work with a trainer to determine which type is best for the horse you ride and the sport you pursue. We use a different bit for jumping than we do for dressage.

Quizz donning 5 point breast plate, Dalmar XC boots, safety stirrups,
Micklem bridle, Wonderbit and Mattes pad over an all purpose pad

3) There are lots of specialty reins, martingales and other specialty items out there. Here are the basics.

• Standing Martingale - this piece of tack has a loop of leather that goes around the horse's chest and has straps connecting it to the girth and the noseband. It basically prevents the horse from lifting it's nose way up in the air.  We used these on the ponies at the hunter barn my daughter used to ride at and they are used in jumping classes but not in flat classes. I think. Don't quote me as an authority on that. I can tell you they are not allowed in dressage or eventing.
• Running Martingale - this piece of tack is similar to a standing martingale but rather than attaching to the noseband, there are two straps at the front which attach to the reins. It is also used to keep the horse from throwing his head too high. These are often used by eventers when jumping.
• Breastplate - this is a piece of tack used primarily to hold a saddle in place when jumping.  It shouldn't be necessary if a saddle is well fitted but it looks cool and if you are taking huge jumps it's probably a reasonable piece of tack to use. They come in 3 points and 5 points. 5 points look cooler. Just Sayin'.
• German Reins or German Martingale - similar to other martingales this is a loop of leather which goes around the horse's chest, has a strap connecting it to the girth on one end and two straps at the front. Different than a running martingale, the two straps on the German martingale loop through the bit and connect to metal rings on the special reins. These are a training tool and help encourage the horse to work with his head down, raising his back and bringing his hind legs under him. They are considered less severe than side reins (see lunging equipment) and are not used in show situations.

4) There is a whole world of boots for horses and apparently we need all of them. I'm resisting but we have already bought quite a few. The equine brands do a great job of marketing so you think you need more than you really do. Here are a few types that come to mind:

• Bell Boots - these are short little boots, usually made of rubber, which cover the hoof. Horses generally wear them on their front feet though I have seen them on the hind as well. The purpose is to protect the front hooves and especially the shoes of the front hooves when the horse is "tracking up" during movement. Tracking up refers to the hind leg coming forward toward the front leg and sometimes horses over track. If they over track (or overreach) you have some issues to work on but the bell boot falls over the heel just enough so that the hind hoof connects with the boot instead of pulling off the front shoe. We put them on our pony but we actually only put them on our horse during Cross Country.
• Polo Wraps - these are long, narrow lengths of fleece with velcro at one end. They are wrapped around a horse's legs to provide a bit of warmth and protection during flat work. Honestly, they really aren't used all that much these days. You would never want to use them while jumping or out galloping in case they came undone and tripped the horse. They come in fun colors and patterns and it is easy to make your own. The real value in using polos is in getting practice with wrapping. Wrapping a horse's legs is a delicate process. Pony Club introduces polo wrapping early on as a means of teaching wrapping with something simple the kids can handle before tackling stable bandages.
• Brushing Boots - these are protective boots used during any type of work. We use the neoprene Woof Boots which come in lots of fun colors and are reasonably priced. We use them on the front legs when lunging and on all 4 when jumping.
• Open Front Boots - open fronts tend to be more expensive and are popular with jumpers. They have a hard core and are very protective of the sensitive parts of a horse's lower leg but they leave the front portion open. The theory is that you want your horse to feel the pole or the jump as they go over if they aren't tucking up enough. If you put too much protection on their leg some people think they won't really care about brushing and dropping a pole on a jump course.
• Cross Country Boots - these are super protective. Cross Country obstacles are solid so if your horse's legs hit them, it will hurt. We bought a pair of Dalmar boots for our horse which is a bit over the top but I was so very very glad we did. At my daughter's first show with Quizz they had trouble at the 4th or 5th fence which was a table. I was in the next field but I could hear the hard plastic of her boots hit the jump. The horse was totally fine. The boots did their job. Once Elizabeth was certain Quizz was OK they continued on course and finished a solid round. This is a pair of boots I would buy again. I had thought we didn't really need such fancy stuff at the lower levels but if it protects the horse while she and my daughter are making mistakes together then it is well worth it.
• Shipping Boots - these are tall, padded boots that protect your horse during transport. They are super awkward for the horses to move in. Our pony hated them. We don't always use them but if the horse is going to be in the trailer for more than an hour we like to do what we can to protect her from herself. The trailer is safe but if she kicks or if we have another horse in the trailer, anything could happen.  
• Hoof Boots - there are actually many different names for these boots but none really distinguish them sufficiently from other types of boots. We call them sneakers or Quizz's tennis shoes. Most often these shoes are worn by barefoot horses when they go out on a trail ride to protect their hooves from rocks and sticks. We recently bought a pair when Quizz had a hoof bruise. Our vet pulled her shoe so she wore one of these boots for a week during turnout so that she wouldn't have to stay in her stall all day.
• Soaking Boot - this is just what it sounds like. You buy a size that will fit on the horse with a bit of space left over for the water or whatever it is you are using to soak the hoof. We used one to soak Quizz's hoof and try to tease out an abscess.  I've seen taller versions which people use to soak or ice a horse's legs after hard work such as a big cross country run.

Quizz modeling the 1/4 sheet I made for her from a blanket
called a Chappy Wrap

5) I wrote an entire post on blanketing but I think it is worth mentioning a few of the blanket types you might consider buying.

• Sheet - a sheet could be anything but there are basically two kinds. First is the stable sheet which is just a thin layer to be worn inside or in the trailer. They can be cotton or wool or anything really. Then there are rain sheets which are, in theory, waterproof. There are also dress sheets which just implies you keep it relatively clean and only use it when going somewhere and trying to look good, sort of like a cocktail dress or pretty high heeled shoes.
• Stable Blanket - really the same thing as a stable sheet but this one is soft cotton or wool and makes you think blanket. Baker blankets are very popular items in the equine wardrobe.
• Medium or Heavy - these are insulated like your North Face winter coat. They can be waterproof or not. Heavy or Medium refers to the weight of the fill inside. If you plan to use it for turnout be sure to find one that is waterproof. They can come with high necks or you can buy neck covers to attach to them.  
• Irish Knit - this is a cotton netting blanket that is great for a wet horse. You put it on a sweaty horse after heavy work or a wet horse after a bath on a cool day to keep the horse a bit warmer during drying. It also absorbs some of the water.
• Fleece - just like the human version, a fleece is just another layer. Every brand is different but most of the fleece layers are pretty thin. They're great because they don't cause as much blanket rub (the hair on a horse's shoulders and chest can get rubbed off from the pressure of blankets).
• Surcingle - this is the name of the weird hooky things on the side of most blankets that connects the webbing around the belly to the hook on the side of the blanket.

6) Rope Halters and nylon ropes with "poppers" on the end are tools used in natural horsemanship. The rope halters have knots on them that use natural pressure points to encourage the horse to work with you rather than against you. The popper end of the lead rope can be "twirled" to encourage the horse to move in the direction you determine. We have found the use of natural horsemanship and these tools to be very valuable.

Quizz being lunged with Pessoa and Surcingle

7) Lunging is another area filled with gear. You can lunge a horse with a bridle, lunge line and whip. But there are other tools out there as well.

• Lunge Line - a lunge line is a long, flat line made of cotton or nylon with a clip on one end which attaches to the horse's head via a rope halter or a lunging caveson. It is sort of like a leash and keeps the horse connected to the person lunging.
• Lunging Caveson - this is a leather halter that fits like a bridle and has metal rings on the noseband for connecting the lunge line and training tools.
• Surcingle - not to be confused with the connecting mechanism used on many horse blankets, this surcingle goes around the horse's belly and can be used to connect other tools to the horse for training.
• Side Reins - these are leather straps designed to connect from a saddle or lunging surcingle to the Caveson or bit. I personally don't know how to use them so have no better explanation. The purpose is to encourage a horse to keep his head down, use his core and bring his hind end under him.  They can also be used under saddle but the saying goes that anyone who is actually qualified to use side reins doesn't need them. Still, they can be a useful training tool.
• Pessoa - in addition to being a brand of saddle, this is a rope contraption that resembles a torture device. It connects to the bit and surcingle and has a soft tube that sits at the back of the horse's hind end. We use this on our horse and it has been great for her rehabilitation. It encourages her to stretch her head and neck down and to bring her hind end forward under her body. With this device her canter transitions engage her hind end much more. It has helped us build up her strength and the muscles on her top line. This is all good.
• Lunge Whip - these are much longer than even a dressage whip with a string on the end and are used to drive the horse on the lunge circle.
• Carrot Stick - this is a shorter whip than the lunge whip with a longer string on the end. Carrot sticks are often used in natural horsemanship. My daughter prefers this to a lunge whip because it is much easier for her to manage.

8) Then we have all the grooming tools.  

• Curry - plastic, used to loosen dirt and hair
• Pulling Comb - metal, best with a long, wooden handle, used to pull a horse's mane (rather than cutting the mane to the desired length, you can actually pull the longer hairs from areas where the hair is too thick)
• Flick - long bristle brush that flicks the dirt up from below the surface
• Hard and Soft Brush - pretty much what they sound like!
• Hoof Pick - metal hook with a handle used to pick dirt, ice, sand, etc. out of the horse's hoof. I like the kind with a brush on the other side so you can brush and pick at one time.
• Cowboy Magic - fabulous conditioning gel that makes it possible to brush a horse's tail

9) Saddle pads are all about personal preference. Size, thickness and materials used in construction are the important factors.

• All Purpose Saddle Pad - this is the rectangular pad most people use under their saddles. We like the kind with moisture wicking fabric on the underside. The pad should be big enough that the saddle doesn't sit on the horse anywhere there isn't a pad and small enough so that it isn't in the way of the girth.
• Dressage Saddle Pad - these are much larger since dressage saddles have longer flaps.
• Hunter Saddle Pad - these are sheepskin pads shaped like the saddle.
• Shim Pad - these pads have pockets for shims which can be added to adjust the fit of the saddle.
• Mattes Pad - one brand of sheepskin pad. They come with or without shim pockets and in full or half pad.  A full pad would go underneath the entire seat of the saddle.
• Thinline Pad - a thin gel pad that comes with or without shim pockets and in full or half pad. You can also buy them built into the rectangular saddle pad.
• Back on Track - this is a company that makes products using ceramic technology in its fabrics. The ceramic retains the horse's heat and reflects it back to the horse helping to increase blood flow. We like to use a Back on Track saddle pad to help warm up tight muscles in the winter.

10) Stable bandages are leg wraps used either after heavy work to prevent swelling in the legs or after injury to protect the legs.  As the name implies, they are worn in the barn or trailer or while tied after a cross country run. They consist of a quilted pillow like wrap held in place with a firm but stretchy ace bandage type wrap called simply stable bandage. They are also called standing wraps or standing bandages. They can be done with flannel or cotton batting. Everyone has their preference and in the case of injury a vet may have a reason for choosing one type over another.

Elizabeth jumping on Sabrina who is wearing a Quiet Ride

11) Ear bonnets and face masks are items used to protect horses from flies and bugs in the summer. The face masks are made of heavy mesh and stay on all day. They go over their heads and have mesh ear covers. Face masks make a big difference in keeping horses comfortable during summer turnout. Ear bonnets are worn during work. They are usually knit or crocheted and have ear pockets made of breathable fabric. Covering the horse's ears during buggy times can really help them pay attention during work. Ear bonnets are available in fun colors and you can have custom ones made as well. There are also face masks called quiet rides which are lighter weight than the ones we use for turnout. We use them for trail riding in the woods so that the horse doesn't spend the whole ride annoyed by a bug in his eye.

If you take a look at the Dover Saddlery catalog or the SmartPak website you will see there are plenty of items I haven't mentioned. However, this list should help you get a grasp on the basics. There is an endless supply of fun items for the horse obsessed. Equine pursuits are a great choice for gear lovers!

No Middle Ground With Horses: Why there are so few in between opportunities for kids who want to ride.

I frequently meet parents of horse crazy kids who want to provide more equestrian opportunity but don't have the bandwidth to dive in head first.  I've often lamented the fact that this sport doesn't accommodate incremental increases in commitment.  However, I'm seeing things differently lately and want to share why I've changed my mind.

You can't be an in between horse person.  The people who have been the most successful in any equine sport have done so on the backs of horses they knew intimately.  They start these horses themselves rather than buying made horses.  They spend so much time with their horses and see them everyday in every situation so that they know immediately if something isn't right.  It's akin to our relationships with our kids or our partners.  I can tell when not to ask a favor from my husband or if my oldest isn't feeling well but is gutting out a race nonetheless.  If you go in halfway you lose that connection and barometer.

There is no middle ground because you either own a horse or you don't own a horse.  Of course, there are people who half lease or share horses.  Horses are very expensive so it is unrealistic to think everyone who wants to ride can simply buy and maintain a horse.  Sometimes the perfect half leasing opportunity comes up and those are fortunate circumstances.  With a 2 - 3 day a week commitment, the child is able to learn more than if she had just been taking lessons but without giving up everything else in life.  That's great.  And for some people they simply can't afford more and I get that.

However, and this is where I may lose some of you, you don't become a horse person by doing it part time.  If you want to be a horse person, know the ups and downs and be a true steward of a wonderful living being, it's a full time job.  It is a choice that eliminates other choices from your life.  Riding horses should never be like playing soccer or tennis.  It should never be something you show up to do for an hour and then off you go to do all your other things in life.  Such an approach is disrespectful to the incredible gift the horses give us by letting us get on their backs and train them, learn from them, work with them, pour our secrets into their ears and dry our tears on their coats.

Our world today approaches everything as a disposable commodity.  We are accustomed to instant gratification and tossing aside things that don't work.  Horses defy that evolution.  It takes forever to learn how to ride and care for a horse properly.  And I mean forever!!!  And when a horse isn't doing well he's more similar to your child than a piece of equipment.  You might dump a $3,000.00 saddle if the horse doesn't like it but you never just dump a horse.  You care for it, you do everything you can, consult everyone you know and you hope that when it is time to give up the people around you will tell you because it is unlikely you would be willing to give up without a crazy fight.  And giving up can take many different forms.  For some that means retirement to a field to live out his days in relaxed bliss.  For others it means rehoming to a therapeutic riding program or as a trail horse.  And for those beyond help, it means ending their suffering.  None of this is easy.

My point is that the real value of embracing a horse sport for your child is that it isn't simple.  You don't just sign up.  This is a commitment that will teach your child the true meaning of commitment.  When it's 11 degrees someone has to break the ice in the water bucket.  When it's 20 degrees but the horse has an abscess, someone needs to go soak it and get their hands wet.  Someone needs to take their gloves off to poultice the hoof after soaking.  And when it's 95 degrees and humid at the end of a long horse show, someone, has to muck out the stall and reload the trailer.  That my daughter has never once complained about being the one to do all of this and much more indicates her preparedness for the world and anything it can throw at her.

The better a rider knows a horse, the more prepared the rider can be if something goes wrong.  A rider who truly knows his horse will not go out cross country if something is wrong but first you have to know the horse to know that something is wrong.  At this point, as a parent of a kid who likes to ride, you will rely on a trainer to know if the horse is off or if the child shouldn't be going out.  But if you rely on that trainer forever and for everything, you and your child will not develop your own gut instincts about what not to do or when something is wrong and developing those instincts is what will make your child a horse person rather than a kid who takes riding lessons.  You need the trainer but you also need to develop your own knowledge.  You are responsible for the child so ultimately you are responsible for the horse.  Pony Club is a great resource for parents and kids to learn the things they need to know to be responsible horse stewards.

As parents of horse kids we are not raising horses so we do buy horses, ostensibly with experience in the sport our child is pursuing.  It takes at least a year to get to know the horse.  Anything that you do in that year is a bit of guesswork.  Some horses take longer to know but a year can give you a good idea of how things are going.  But that's ok.  That is how we create a learning opportunity for our kids.  If they continue in the sport there will come a time when they need to build a horse from the ground up, put in the years of work and build the long term relationship but first they need to become horse people.

And one final thing parents of equestrians really need to understand.  This is a lifetime sport.  Most kids won't play soccer or football past high school and even fewer past college.  Gymnasts and skaters peak in their teens.  Equestrians peak in their 40's and can still be at the top of their game in their 50's.  It takes that long to learn enough to develop your own horse.  A horse takes at least 10 years to develop to the top levels of eventing and often more.  So if you are a parent who has a lot tied up in your kids' athletic achievements, equine sports might not be all that fulfilling for you.  The hunter and equitation world does provide classes for kids and there is hefty competition and a huge amount of money being spent so kids can win medals.  But all of that misses the point of horses and raising horse people.

Life with horses, especially for kids, shouldn't be about ribbons.  It should be about connection, love, hard work, barn life (which is usually a boy free zone and a great place for teenaged girls) and learning about horses.  If your child truly wants to be a horse person, find a way to help her.  I can't think of anything better for a kid than hard work with a healthy, happy equine friend as the reward.

My daughter is competing in her first horse show. What does she need to wear?

This is a daunting question.  We are about to enter my daughter’s 5^th show season and just purchased her 4^th set of show attire.  I’m getting better at this but still find the process mystifying.

We were really fortunate that her first shows took place under the guidance of a trainer who liked a nice turnout and worked one night a week at our local tack shop.  It was so easy!  I just showed up while she was working and told her to pick out whatever she liked.  As time went on and my daughter changed disciplines and competition levels, I had to wrap my head around when they wear what.  There are still nuances that are lost on me, especially in the hunter world but I can certainly get you started.

I have 2 universal pieces of advice.  Firstly, if you can borrow or buy a used show coat, shirt, jodhs (pants) or garters, do so.  With so many kids showing at a young age there are always barely used show clothes kicking around.  Save your pennies for later on when they are burning through breeches and boots.   Secondly, keep her in jodhpurs and garters as long as possible (I’ll explain this in a minute).  The girls are in such a rush to grow up but there are several reasons to slow them down.  1) They look adorable.  2) The judges love the adorable, well turned out little girls. 3) It is way less complicated and expensive.

Regarding the information that follows, links will take you directly to appropriate items on the Dover Saddlery website.  Hopefully this will make the whole thing a little less overwhelming!  There are many other good options.  These are just the items we have chosen.

Show coats are generally dark in color.  For rated shows in the equitation ring and dressage or eventing shows, the jacket should be solid black or solid dark navy.  For Elizabeth’s first three show seasons during which she only went to schooling shows, we were able to find beautiful coats on sale for $50.00 but they had a plaid pattern or pin stripe to them.  The pattern was barely noticeable but since Elizabeth plans to do some sanctioned events now, we bought a solid navy coat.  That meant there was nothing on the sale rack.  She is still a child’s size – 14 – in some things so not quite as expensive as women’s but much more than in the past.  I wish we could have gotten one from a friend.  She’ll only use it 10 times and will likely outgrow it by next year.

The upside to them moving up to women's sizes is that you have a ton more to choose from.  The downside is the cost goes up pretty dramatically.

You can never go wrong with a white shirt.  Certainly you can get away with a light color at a schooling show and the jumpers are far less fussy about shirt and coat colors.  But, in most disciplines, the white shirt is the proper choice.  The shirts have a flat collar that snaps or buttons across the throat and they have a loop at the back for the stock tie to pass through so be sure to buy a shirt from a tack shop.  A proper shirt is known as a "rat catcher" but don't ask me why!  White shirts are the easiest to find in numerous sizes and different fabrics for different temperatures.  There are now a number of companies making “cool max” long sleeved white shirts with a dry wicking, breathable material.  Proper dress means a long sleeved shirt with the cuffs poking out from the sleeves of the jacket.  On hot days, the cool max shirts make a big difference.  On super hot days, judges often choose to allow riders to forego the show coat all together.  Try on several brands and styles of shirts.  I know some have huge necks, others tiny necks.  You really need a good fit.  If the neck is too big and you add a stock tie it will look messy.

Short sleeved shirts (this link goes to a women's shirt but we bought a children's size so I know they are out there, just can't find it) are not proper attire.  However, my daughter wears one with a stock tie to most summer shows and she’s not the only one.  Again, my knowledge of A circuit hunter shows is lacking but when it’s been 90 degrees at a show Elizabeth has entered the ring in short sleeves.  For sanctioned shows we always have the long sleeve shirt in the garment bag just in case.  Talk to your trainer about shirts, especially if you are going to rated shows of any type.  They should be able to advise you.

I’m not sure when they need to start wearing a stock tie but it is proper attire.  Elizabeth started wearing one last year.  I think there’s some trial and error involved in stock ties.  There are pre-tied stock ties but we bought the old fashioned kind.  They are white cotton and take some practice to get right.  You also need a stock pin to hold the ties in place.  For Pony Club it needs to be a super plain pin but there are several very fun options out there to add a bit of pizzazz to your show look.

Then there is the boot/pant combination.  Jodhpurs or breeches should be light in color.  We usually go with a light tan but white is also quite popular.  There are several colors of tan, all are acceptable.

If your daughter is under 12 years old she can wear jodhpurs, pictured above, paddock boots and garters.  The boots and garters can be black or brown leather but they should match.  The jodhpurs should be light tan.  Jodhs are longer than breeches and cuffed at the bottom.  They also have elastic straps at the bottom ala 1980’s stirrup pants which button to the inside of the cuff and go under the sole of the paddock boot.  The garters are lengths of leather that buckle around the pants above the calf and below the knee.  My daughter swears they are uncomfortable but the upside is the kids get to wear well broken in paddock boots and they are less crazy hot than tall boots.  For girls going with jodhpurs and garters, they should wear their hair in two long braids finished with hair bows.  They look so fantastic cantering around the ring with braids bouncing and ribbons blowing!

For older girls, you will need tan breeches and black field boots or dress boots, though field boots seem to be the current fashion in the shows we attend.  Dress boots pull on, field boots have laces in the front on the foot and zip up the back.  Two years ago Elizabeth wore her first pair of tall boots and they were a children’s size.  Last year she was 11 ½ and had to buy women’s.  We haven't gotten that far yet this year.  Tall boots are a little complicated to fit.  Choose show britches first.  These tend to be a little more structured than schooling britches. You should be sure your daughter wears her show britches when trying on boots.  The boots are meant to be extremely fitted.  If she wears thinner pants to buy the boots she may run into trouble on show day being unable to get them zipped up.  Same goes for socks.  For the most part, field boots zip all the way up the back.  They are easy to get your foot into but can easily take 2 people to zip.  Tall boots must be broken in so buy them at least a month in advance of your first show.  Be sure the person helping you knows what they are doing.  I’m finally getting the hang of how boots should fit but could never have figured it out on my own.  They fit illogically high up the leg and so tightly I’m sure they must be the wrong size!  However, that’s just the way they need to fit.  They do stretch out but it takes time and wear to stretch them.  I make my daughter wear hers around the house for at least 2 hours a day for the first few weeks we have them and that seems to do the trick.  When broken in they "drop" so what looks excessively high when you buy then is truly the correct fit down the road.  There is also spray called boot stretch.  We spray the boots inside and out before zipping which helps.  And sometimes the boots simply cut off circulation!

If you went with breeches and tall boots, her hair can no longer go in cute braids with ribbons.  Hair can either go up into the helmet or be collected neatly at the nape of the neck.  In either case, a hair net should be involved.  No hair should be hanging down her back.  The issue with putting it in the helmet is fit.  A helmet should be snug.  If you buy a helmet to fit with hair up, she will need to wear her hair up all the time.  My daughter’s helmet is snug without hair in it so we do a neat bun in a net at the nape of her neck.  Honestly we have yet to perfect this whole thing so I wish you luck!  The braids and bows were so much simpler!!!!

The helmet should be solid black.  There are some fancy helmets out there now with stripes down the middle but just like the white shirt, you can never go wrong with a solid black helmet.  For a schooling show the little velvet helmet covers you can buy are fine to cover up an inexpensive helmet but at a certain point it is worth investing in a really good helmet to protect your child's head.  We keep a neoprene cover on it most of the time so it looks nice and clean on show day.  For the cross country portion of eventing we cover it with a helmet cover in Elizabeth's eventing colors.

Gloves should be solid in color.  White is the proper color in dressage but as long as they are solid you should be fine.  We keep a separate pair of show gloves.  Schooling gloves get really grimy and we want a crisp turnout on show day.  My daughter chooses to wear black at this point which seems to be acceptable.

The pony turnout is a whole other story but mainly involves well cleaned tack and a clean saddle pad.  The pony should be bathed if possible and a braided mane is always nice.  For dressage the pad should be entirely white with absolutely nothing on it.  In the hunter ring the pad is a little sheepskin in a saddle shape that goes under the saddle.  In jumpers and the jumping phases of eventing, any saddle pad is fine.  In dressage the horses should not wear anything on their legs - no wraps, bell boots or brushing boots.  For jumping most of them wear some kind of boot.

If your child is an eventer they will wear their formal wear for their dressage test and a different outfit for cross country.  They will sometimes have the option of wearing cross country gear for show jumping.  That is generally a factor of how much time they have between phases.  If you have more than an hour, go to show jumping in formal attire and change into cross country gear afterwards.  If the order of go has your rider traveling directly from show jumping to cross country, they should show jump in their cross country gear.

For cross country the kids love to have colors.  Some are subtle and others deck out everything - my daughter is among the latter.  The horse's boots, ear net, saddle pad, the rider's shirt, helmet cover, vest all display a matching color combination.  This is really fun and the distraction is often a good one. My daughter can get a bit intense and stressed out so distracting her with dressing up herself and her horse in fabulous matching gear alleviates the stress.  

Now just add your fabulous rider with a great smile and go out and have some fun!!!  Happy showing!

When Horses Aren't Fun: How not to end up with an inappropriate mount for your child.

I suppose there are many times we question our involvement with horses, especially during a New England winter!  But my topic today centers on the pain of choosing the wrong horse.  Too often a parent is willing to buy their child a horse but without the necessary support they can make an inappropriate choice.  Once that happens it is very difficult to undo the damage.  It is unfair to the kid and it is unfair to the horse.

The first pony we leased for my daughter was appropriate for the sport we leased her for but when we changed sports, the pony was no longer a safe choice.  She dumped my daughter several times before our trainer wisely said enough.  This is the point at which parents are tempted to make a huge mistake by not listening to our experts.  Our experts want the best for us.  In my case, the trainer had not one thing to gain by a horse change since she neither buys nor sells horses nor does she take a commission on any purchases.  Fortunately, the pony we had was wanted for the job she knew and we were able to send her to a good home.  Too often when the horse doesn't work out it is difficult to find them a new situation.  It can take a very long time to rehome an unsafe horse and all that time you will be paying for board, shoes, vet costs and possibly training for a horse your child isn't riding or is riding in a limited way.  The wrong horse will prevent your child from doing the things she wants to do.  An uncooperative horse will make Pony Club or horse shows nearly impossible and if you do manage some schooling shows, your child will find it difficult to move up the levels or to go to rated shows and after awhile, you will resent the horse.  You will also watch your child's confidence deteriorate and she very well may become so afraid she no longer wants to be involved with horses.

I've watched a few families suffer negative experiences.  One family I know has a one year lease, two daughters who want to ride and very little knowledge about horses.  Older, more experienced people can ride their horse but the girls who lease him really shouldn't.  Even some trainers don't want to ride him because it isn't worth getting hurt.  One of the girls came off the horse and broke her foot shortly after they got him.  The family is stuck with the horse until the end of the lease and they are trying to do what they can, engaging a trainer to ride him.  The biggest mistake I saw this family make was not having help right from the start.  They waited months thinking they knew enough.

Let me tell you right now that if you have spent less than 6 days a week over at least 5 years with a horse you have no business owning one without professional help!  They are complicated and there is an endless amount you need to know to handle the variety of situations that will arise.  If you have a backyard horse for your kids you need Pony Club.  Run, don't walk, to your nearest Pony Club and start learning what you need to know.

Another family has a daughter who is a bit more experienced and has had a very tough horse for a few years now.  She handles him extremely well but hasn't been having any fun at all.  Every ride is exhausting to watch.  He always misbehaves, is very out of control and it is not a training issue.  Her mother, who grew up with horses and Pony Club, has finally started looking for a different horse but even she is wondering what took her so long.  They wasted several years on a horse that was never going to be a good partner for her daughter.  I'm amazed the girl still wants to ride!  They will not be able to sell the horse and plan to donate him to a collegiate riding program.  Woe be the rider who draws that horse in competition!

Let's take a moment to think about the cost of the wrong choice.  Board where we live is about $1000 a month, shoes range from $200 a month on up, the vet is about $1000 a year in a good year with no issues and then we have lessons and training costs which would be a minimum of $70 a week or $3600 a year.  So a free horse costs you no less than $18,000 a year to support and honestly it costs more than that.  So the thought of spending all that time and money for something that is not fun, stresses you out, endangers your child and has no easy out is ludicrous!  But there is a solution!

I will start from the premise that it is always possible to find an appropriate horse for every kid.  That does not mean that it will be quick or easy to find the right horse.  And even wonderful horses have bad days.  You will find many people who grew up with horses that threw them off, refused every fence, never came to them in the paddock and on and on.  Some of those people would argue that they learned more from those naughty horses than they could have from the kind who take care of their rider.  Well, I beg to differ.  You don't necessarily learn more from either kind but you do learn different things.  In most of those cases, someone, usually not the parents, gave those kids horses that were then kept in their backyard.  Most of those parents didn't make conscious choices about the horse they had.  It was a different time.  And I would warn you about any "free" horse that crosses your path.  As mentioned above, the upkeep for a horse is far more significant than the cost of an appropriate mount for a child assuming you aren't trying to be competitive on the A Circuit or in the Pony Division so if you are willing to support a horse, be willing to provide a small budget for the purchase.

I would argue that as equine parents our priority is to give our children the opportunity to experience life with horses and all the wonderful things that can come from that in the safest way possible.  This is especially important if you are a parent with limited knowledge of horses, even more so if you have limited access to help.  There are 2 primary qualities that stand out as determining the safety of any particular mount.  The first is a good brain.  You will hear this often with horses.  It generally means the horse is intelligent, doesn't spook each and every day at the same exact bush it has lived next to for 5 years (I used to ride a horse that did this and it was annoying rather than unsafe but would have been very unsettling for a child).  A horse with a good brain will try to figure out what you want him to do and will know when he has a kid on his back and how to behave.  The second quality is experience.  You can buy a young horse that will miraculously have such a good brain that it doesn't need experience to be a safe mount.  However, it is best as a non-horsey parent to stick with slightly older, experienced horses.  A horse that has already done everything you want to do with it will not be surprised.  It will understand what's going on each day and can help your child along as she's learning.  An older horse will need more maintenance but I promise it is well worth the trade off!

Before you choose a horse, know what it is you want to do with the horse (hunters, equitation, dressage, eventing) and look for a horse that has a record at that sport.  If at some point this changes, be aware you might need to change horses as well.  For instance, we leased my daughter's first pony to be used in the hunter ring in the short stirrup division.  She was only ridden in smallish, enclosed rings.  My daughter then switched to eventing.  Suddenly the pony found herself in wide open spaces somewhat far away from the barn and with no other horses in sight.  Asking her to change sports was actually unfair.  She would have needed a great deal of training in order to succeed in a new sport and it just wasn't worth it so we sent her back to the short stirrup division where she has kept her rider very happy.

Once you identify the sport, identify the place you will board the horse and the horse professional who will help you with your horse.   Have a discussion with any potential horse professionals and ask about their approach not only to finding the right horse but to caring for the horse once you have it.  If you need help, is this person interested in helping you or does he or she primarily offer lessons and leave everything else to the owners or barn manager?  Our trainer is a resident trainer at the barn where we board and she gives my daughter lessons, gives our horse training rides and provides a ton of invaluable support and advice.  She is never too busy and is incredibly generous with her time and knowledge.  In some cases your horse professional will lead you to an appropriate horse.  I know one eventing trainer who specializes in half leasing schoolmaster ponies to kids for the introductory levels.  At a certain point they need to acquire their own horse but this is a great way to get started.  Our trainer does not act as an agent in horse sales but she does assist her clients by helping them identify the characteristics they are looking for in a horse, looking over ads brought to her by clients and going out to look at horses the client has identified as potential options.  This process is extremely educational.  Even though it can take a great deal of time to search for horses and visit them only to be disappointed by what you find, each horse you look at teaches you something about what you are looking for and which qualities are the must have qualities.

There are many places to look for the right horse.  There are great websites out there with horse listings and people at your barn will often know of good horses for sale.  Pony Club is a great resource for finding horses for kids.  Any ad that mentions a horse has been used for Pony Club rallies and/or ratings, especially if they have done rallies in multiple disciplines and ratings above the D2 level (which means D3, C1, C2, etc.) that tells you this is a kids' mount.  There are classified ads on the Pony Club website and many local clubs or regions keep their own classified ad pages.  From there it really depends on what you plan to do with the horse.  USEA (US Eventing Association) has websites by Area with great classifieds.  Sport Horse Nation is another classified site dedicated primarily to eventing horses.  I am sure there is an equivalent in the hunter, equitation, jumper and dressage disciplines and a good web search should help you find them.  In addition equine.com, dreamhorse.com and others have a huge assortment of classified ads.  You can narrow it down by price, location, age, etc.

The next thing you need to determine is what does the right horse look like.  Color, breed, even gender and size are all things you need to be willing to let go of in your search.  It's ok to have a preference but if you want a bay gelding and the perfect grey mare appears, you buy the perfect grey mare.  High on my list of qualities are good ground manners, willingness to get on and off the trailer and willingness to stand for me when I pull his mane or clip him.  These are the things that will make my job as chauffeur and groom easy and since I'm paying the bills, these are by and large non-negotiable.  I can say that because my daughter is riding at a low enough level that we don't need some kind of insane speed or jumping ability.  In fact, those would be negatives at this point.  For a first horse you want one you have to really kick to make it go rather than one you are always pulling on to slow it down.  As I mentioned earlier, experience is essential.  If you plan to ride in the open, buy or lease a horse that has evented or done hunter paces.  If you plan to do dressage, buy a horse that knows how to be ridden with contact so that your child can learn from the horse.  Ask parents of kids doing the sport your child wants to do what they most value in their child's horse.  Work with your professional to hone the list and prioritize it.  You should have a few non-negotiable qualities, several desirable qualities and a few preferences you can live without but can be kept in mind during the search.

I'd like to say something her about gender.  Some people will only buy geldings and others will only buy mares.  We've had both and here's what little I can decipher about the difference.  The boys may have an opinion but they are pretty willing to give it up if you insist.  The girls on the other hand tend to hang onto their opinions.  They are more willing to stick to their guns and have an argument with you about who's way is the correct way.  Our trainer is a big fan of geldings and my daughter's amazing pony was a gelding.  When I found our lovely mare our trainer was determined not to like her.  She tried everything to make the horse angry or to find an issue.  But our mare is just lovely.  She has the world's best attitude and tries her heart out every day.  She is definitely bossy and opinionated but she's so wonderful we can live with that.  She is also quite amorous of all the boys when she is in season which seems like pretty much most of the time so we live with that too.  So gender can be one of your non-negotiables but I hate to think we would have passed on Quizz because she's a girl.  It would have definitely been our loss.

Before you head out to try any horses, set a budget.  Depending on what you want to do, a first horse should cost between $5,000 and $10,000.  Backyard ponies can be cheaper, show ponies (meaning hunter division) will be far more expensive.  We paid in that range for our pony and quite a bit more for my daughter's current horse.  This may vary depending on where you live.  Remember a more flexible budget will give you more options but you really do not need to pay a whole lot more to get a first horse.  And don't expect to buy one horse and be done.  Again, it all depends on what you intend to do with the horse.  In our case my daughter needed one year with an experienced pony we knew she would outgrow.  We bought a pony, lost a little selling it (as we knew we would), and bought her wonderful next horse.  This horse should last her awhile if she can stay sound.  It's a little bit like buying a house.  You start with something small and then after having 3 kids you outgrow the tiny house and move somewhere a little bigger.  If you try to buy one horse that will be all things from beginning to end you will have to make concessions somewhere else.  Either you will pay more for talent you won't be using until some undefined time in the future by which time your child may not even be riding or the horse may not still be sound or you will buy too much horse - too big, too strong or fast - wanting to make it last only to defeat the whole purpose of trying to buy the appropriate mount.  Don't do it!  If you are really concerned about buying and selling on a rather short horizon, find a horse you can lease.

Regarding the search for the horse I just want to mention something about looking at ads and videos. Look at horses aged 8 - 16.  The older horses should cost less and you should plan for needing to retire that horse or free lease it out to kids when you are done until he can't work.  Many horses can keep teaching kids well into their 20's.  When you look at videos, make sure you are looking at a child riding the horse in a situation comparable to what your child will be doing.  I often found the videos were of professionals riding the horse.  I would ask to see a video of a kid jumping the horse in a field.  If the video is less than 10 seconds long, they might be hiding something.  They might not but it's something to keep in mind.  I'd rather see a horse jumping clumsily but safely with a kid on its back than beautifully 3 levels above where my child is competing.  Even better is seeing both!

After you identify some horses you are interested in, call the owners or agents to chat and set up a time you can take your child and trainer to ride the horse.  If the horse is nearby, try to visit on more than one day.  This is a huge long term commitment, take your time and gather all the information.  When we look at horses, usually the current trainer or rider will get on and warm the horse up, show off his jumping or lead changes, etc.  Then both my daughter and our trainer take turns.  If we go a longer distance and our trainer can't join us, I might hop on just to see if I feel like the horse is scary or not.  I'm not much of a rider but I can at least gather one more data point.  I would never buy a horse my trainer hasn't sat on but I might have to do the first visit without her.  I always let the people showing us the horse know ahead of time that I need to see my daughter jump the horse in an open field.  Often this has to be done on a different day since not everyone has a cross country field available on their property.  However, I wouldn't ever buy a horse without having seen my daughter jump it in the open.  Jumping in the open is a big part of what she does with her horse and it's the activity that leaves the most opportunity for something to go wrong.  After the ride I like to go into the barn and be part of the untacking experience, especially if they already had the horse tacked when we got there.  It's important to see how the horse behaves in the barn, on the cross ties, etc.  Sometimes you will gain little snip-its of pertinent information such as the horse can't be cross tied!  It may be a manageable quirk rather than a deal breaker but such a thing would surely warrant consideration and further investigation.

I'm not going to get into vetting and all the other things involved with buying a horse.  Everyone has their own perspective and I'm really just focusing on how to make sure you're making a safe choice for your child.  If you do make the right choice, your child will have fun and thrive while learning from a lovely animal.  She will likely improve her skills quickly and be able to move up the levels and gain confidence.  If you don't make the right choice, be patient but not too patient.  It takes a year to get to know a horse.  There are so many factors - change of environment, different riding style, new schedule, new farrier.  Give the horse a chance.  If you did your homework then you chose this horse because you believed it was the best choice.  Give it some time.  On the other hand, listen to your gut, your child and your horse professional.  If the horse demonstrates dangerous behavior, take it seriously.  Don't be afraid to say we made a mistake and to take steps to relocate the horse and start over again.  Don't waste 3 years with the wrong horse making a bad situation worse.  It's ok to acknowledge when it isn't working and to find a way to move onto a better fit but be responsible to the horse in the process.  In reality our kids are home with us and riding for a very limited number of years.  Try not to waste them!

What About Me?: When mom wants a turn to ride.

Elizabeth on Sabrina with me on Toby.

I spend an absurd amount of time and energy supporting my daughter's equine passion.  Is it wrong that I want to have some fun along the way?  A major reason she has my support is that I had the same desire as a kid that she has now.  I would have given anything to have had a horse and to have been able to ride everyday.  I would have given even more to have been in Pony Club.  My own riding experience is fairly limited.  As a teenager I took lessons at a hunter barn in California whenever I had enough money from babysitting to pay for them.  I didn't ride at all through college and then in my late 20's, after my oldest son was born, I started taking lessons once a week at a hunter barn here in Massachusetts.  I loved it!  But then I had two more children and I just didn't have the time for my expensive hobby.  I tried several times to get my husband on board with my horse fantasy but it didn't happen.  So now that I am providing all of this for my daughter, there are days I selfishly wish it was me in the saddle.

I know quite a few moms who have been riding all their lives.  Their daughters discovered horses through their mothers and it was only a matter of time before they were both riding.  Many of these women now keep their horses at home.  Horses have always been a priority for them so when they realized there was a need to support more than one horse, they built barns.  Oh how I wish 15 years ago when we left the city I had opted for land and bucolic bliss over suburban convenience.  I'm now stuck in the town we live in until my kids graduate from high school so putting horses in my back yard is not an option.

If having horses in your backyard is an option, it's a great way to make riding more accessible for multiple family members.  With horses at home you save money on board and have the convenience of being able to ride whenever you want (unless it's winter 6 months of the year and you live in New England with no indoor).  Just having Elizabeth's horse at home would mean she could ride while I cook dinner!  But beware!  Having horses at home is a huge commitment.  I won't go into all the gory details but just a few of the things I've discovered one needs to consider when keeping horses at home are enough to put most people off.  Among them are manure management, insurance, never ever being able to go away or paying an extra $1000 for barn help to be away for the weekend, being the one to wake up to feed the horses 365 days a year and the one to do night check the same number of days no matter the weather, state of your health or other things going on in your life.  Perhaps at this point it is just as well that I can't have horses at home since I'm pretty sure I'd be in over my head!

Elizabeth on Pumba with me on Nugget.

For the past couple of years Elizabeth was riding ponies, first leased ponies then the pony we bought  for her.  During that time I had the good fortune to half lease a couple of different horses so that I did get a chance to ride a bit.  Every time I felt like I was getting somewhere, the owner would make a change and I would be without a horse again.  I am incredibly grateful that before that happened this last time I was able to go on a couple of trail rides with my daughter.  Those were the best days of my life.  Half leasing is a good option.  The cost isn't too horrendous and has a limit unlike ownership.  I was riding 2 days a week which should cost about 1/3 of the board for the horse.  Lessons cost money over and above this so it wasn't exactly a cheap option but it was appropriate for me with regards to both time and money.

When we bought Elizabeth's horse last fall my husband assumed we would share the horse.  I know a couple of other moms who are looking for horses to share with their kids.  And my two cents on this topic is that is doesn't work, at least not for us.  It certainly can work depending on your goals.  For our family, we have chosen to support Elizabeth's riding goals.  Those goals are pretty lofty and require her to ride often.  Our horse works 6 times a week.  We try to have our trainer ride her once a week which leaves 5 rides for Elizabeth and me to split up.  Well, if I'm lucky, I can have one.  And that is definitely the way it should be.  Quizz is Elizabeth's horse.  This is Elizabeth's sport.  They need to work hard in order to be ready for Pony Club certifications and horse trials.

My favorite view - of my daughter on her pony
 through the ears of an awesome horse!

So where does that leave me?  Horseless.  I've tried to talk my husband into buying me a horse but
since my daughter's horse has had so many issues - expensive issues - I don't think he will ever be willing to own two horses.  The most I can hope for is that another horse will come along with an owner willing to lease him or her out a couple of days a week.  Some day, when Elizabeth needs an upper level horse and Quizz has finished doing her job with Elizabeth, I will have my turn.  Quizz and I will live out our twilight years on the trail together.  Until then I will get my horse fix living through my daughter - watching, trailering, grooming and paying.